An April Fool's Day Preprint

For much of February 2023, the world was in panic as repeated balloon-like unidentified flying objects (UFOs) were reported over numerous countries by governments that often responded with military action. As a result, most of these craft either escaped or were destroyed, making any further observation of them nearly impossible. These were not the first time balloon-like objects have loomed over Earth, nor are they likely to be the last. This has prompted us to push for a better understanding of UFOs. 

First we demonstrate that the distribution of balloon incidents and other UFO reports are consistent with being drawn from the same geographic distribution, and further that both of these distributions are consistent with the areas of the Earth that feature the jet stream. 

Second we show that there are more UFO sightings during meteor showers, as we would expect if meteor showers, already a known source of extraterrestrial material, are being used to provide some manner of distraction to help alien craft enter the Earth's atmosphere without drawing undue attention. These links between alleged balloon incidents, UFO reports, and meteor showers establish a transport pipeline for alien craft from interplanetary and possibly interstellar space to the Earth's surface.

Michael B. Lund, "UFOs: Just Hot Air or Something Meteor?" arXiv:2303.17103 (April 1, 2023) (submission for Saturday's Acta Prima Aprilia).