Monday, April 1, 2024

Multi-Messenger Astrology

It has long been accepted that the cosmos determine our personalities, relationships, and even our fate. Unlike our condensed matter colleagues - who regularly use quantum mechanics to determine the healing properties of crystals - astrology techniques have been unchanged since the 19th century. In this paper, we discuss how astrophysical messengers beyond starlight can be used to predict the future and excuse an O(1) fraction of our negative personality traits.
Gwen Walker, Nick Ekanger, R. Andrew Gustafson, Sean Heston, "Multi-Messenger Astrology" arXiv:2403.19749 submission for Acta Prima Aprilia (2024).